AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo! And somebody was giving booze to these god daisies things! It wont be long now before they tear us to shreds.

Psychedelics are almost irrelevant in a town where you can wander in a casino any time in the day or night and witness the crucifixion of a gorilla.

I wake up.
I start charging an attack.

I enter the bar and see the Raging Frenchman preparing his attack.

I cast Erratic Nagging on the Frenchman.

...-1/20.

I finally down my substance that is quite like tea and begin charging my deadliest attack: Hide in the corner and sob!

19/20

shove american flag into the Great Handsome Oppressor's stupid french heart (probably made of cheese)

america/20

You cast your spell but it backfires horribly. Your mom is now telling you to go to your room. You lose your turn to bad memories.

You perform this action quite heartily. You curl up in the nearest corner and start crying, rocking back and forth as the wetness of your tears soaks the floor.


You start to shove an American Flag into the RAGING FRENCHMAN's cheesy heart, but then suddenly explosions of red, white, and blue and patriotic music starts playing with a female Uncle Sam coming out and doing the cha cha with sparklers. The show is quite spectacular but ultimately does nothing to harm the RAGING FRENCHMAN. He continues to charge his attack.

Charge at the RAGING FRENCHMAN, using the flagpoles as lances.
15/20

I use my two actions per turn to charge my attack.

You pick up the flagpoles of the two other failed attempts and hold them fast. You start charging, your warcry of "BLARUUEYARUGHAURHGAHGHRWAAAA" resounding throughout the Pub. If you weren't in a video game, people would think you were fucking insane. Your charge deals moderate damage but not enough to interrupt the RAGING FRENCHMAN's continued channeling.

RAGING FRENCHMAN
HP: [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_] 19120/20000
MP: [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx___] 170/200

Attempt another derail:
13/20

You successful derail the thread but cloth doesn't do very good against the RAGING FRENCHMAN. If anything you fueled his fashion sense and restored his MP.

RAGING FRENCHMAN
HP: [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_] 19120/20000
MP: [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] 200/200

I keep charging my attack and use my second action to comb my hair.
2/20.

The RAGING FRENCHMAN tries to take out a comb to slick back his hair but fumbles it. Oh yeah it also interrupted his attack charging and it'll take another turn to restore the energy needed to try again. "Sacrebleu!"

RAGING FRENCHMAN
HP: [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_] 19120/20000
MP: [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] 200/200