AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I didn't like any of the Gold/Silver starters.

Cynaquil! Do it and name it Cockfinger!

Name your Chikorita after Michael Jackson.

what no you guys are all wrong get chikorita it is amazing

i always thought chikorita was wearing a necklace or something.

and her name made me think of the chaquita banana lady.

Yeah I got that already. But what, exactly?


I've heard about that guy. You talk about him all the time. Do you know a Mr. Digimon, too?





I WANNA GO TO ONE OF THESE RAVES.


LIKE HOLY FUCK IT'S BEEN MY LIFELONG DREAM TO GO TO A RAVE.


I MEAN- Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, I'll do it. What is it, again?


...Really? You're just handing it off to me?


Is that... really quite legal...?


Well hell, if you insist.


...Wait. This is a Cyndaquil. I'm pretty sure these were discovered at least three years ago, considering you get handed one in one of the third generation games. Fourth wall breakage over!


That thing looks like it wants to eat me...


...
DAWWWWW LOOK AT IT IT'S SO CUTE LOOKIT ITS LITTLE LEAF AND NECKLACE BUD THING OH MY GOD I WANT IT


EEEEEEEEEE.


WE CAN BE RAVE BUDDIES!



AND IT'S A GIRL TOO!

Haha check that out. Female on the first try.

Name it Flore

NAME IT COCKFINGER! DO IT! It's bodaciously the best Pokemon name ever.

daisies.

Then again, that means you didn't get to save and reset over and over in an attempt to get a female, only to suddenly have a male shiny pop up and shit your pants as you accept it and run around in glee.

Only to have your spouse lose the game cartridge a few weeks later, and I'm totally not plotting her inevitable murder. No no, I mean I've totally forgiven her, and am not going poison her orange juice.

Or "Flo" for short

Name it 'suck dick' in all lower case letters.

Name it Porkpiehat. No, I don't know why. Also, it's the name of a fairly obscure song from around the 80s.